“The Snow Queen” (Oops, I Mean “Frozen”)

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Read “The Snow Queen” here (highly recommended): Click here

“The Snow Queen” is a short story by Hans Christian Andersen. If you are somehow not aware, Disney has released a movie entitled “Frozen” that is based on the story.

Well, it was supposed to be based on the story. If changing the title, characters, themes, tone, writing style, central plot, and setting is considered “basing it” on the story.

You know what, let me just say this: Disney screwed up. Again.

Without spoiling the story for everyone, the main premise of “The Snow Queen” is this: A young girl sets off an adventure to the Snow Queen’s palace to save a boy whom she deeply loves. She encounters many friends along the way. The story is also interspersed with undertones of Christianity.

Needless to say, anything even remotely Christian got thrown out by Disney immediately, burned to death at the stake, and the ashes trodden upon. But that was not enough for them! They also thought it was a good idea to change the name of the protagonist from “Gerda” to “Anna”. Why? Because Gerda is not a pretty enough name for them. Who wants to watch a movie about a girl named GERDA!?

But wait! We can’t make a movie about a girl! According to our statistics, roughly 50% percent of our audience are young boys. Are you crazy!? This won’t work! Let’s throw in a charming, heroic, romantic male lead because, you know, young girls are helpless pieces of shit who can’t think for themselves. And let’s throw in a dumb ass talking snowman while we’re at it. Why the hell not.

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I would never let my daughter see this film. It’s ridiculous. When you have films like “Kiki’s Delivery Service” and “Whisper of the Heart” with beautiful, respectable, young female leads, why would you want your daughter to watch this piece of crap? You might as well just tell her this:

“Look, honey, you can’t do that. You can’t save your best friend by yourself. Here, let me find some unrealistically handsome and buff guy and his glorified talking snowman to help you. You just follow him around, look pretty, and sing pop songs. But make sure to act feisty so you can give the illusion that you are actually independent.”

What a load of bull.

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Some people may claim that I am overreacting, and if I am, I don’t care. The fact of the matter is this movie is going to make billions of dollars by ripping apart a beautiful story about Christianity and making girls look like worthless garbage. And hundreds of millions of young girls across the world will watch this “pretty”, idealized girl be useless for 90 minutes and then proceed to buy plastic “Anna” dolls made in China because their minds have been warped into thinking that this is what beauty looks like. And then there will be stuffed talking snowman for the boys.

Overreacting? Please. Anyone with a half a brain can see that this is a problem. And I’m not the only one who hates what Disney is doing here:

BOOM!: Click here

BAM!: Click here

Also, the underlying Christian theme that has inevitably be uprooted by Disney was the best part of the entire story. Removing it is disgusting and unforgivable.

Many people on the Internet have decided to stop supporting Disney because of issues like these. They hit below the belt with “Wreck-It Ralph”, at least for me. I love video games and Thomas Newman is my favorite Western film composer. But “The Snow Queen”, excuse me, I mean “Frozen”, demonstrates with complete clarity Disney’s current ambitions: To make a shit load of money.

Walt wanted to bring children on an adventure. Miyazaki wants to instill a sense of wonder, creativity, and inspiration.

Disney wants to make money.

Some final words: I do not disrespect ANY of the artists working at Disney. I am sure that many of them are wonderful, talented people. These harsh criticisms of mine are directed towards this travesty of a company, not the good people who are trapped inside.

A final thought: I urge you. Reconsider purchasing that movie ticket to go take you daughter to see “Frozen”. Order some pizza, grab a milkshake, and sit down and watch “Kiki’s Delivery Service” with her. For her sake.

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